By: Ruby

Rating: G

Disclaimer: The Magnificent Seven is owned by Trilogy, Mirish and MGM. No money is being made. This fanfic is purely for entertainment purposes.

AU: ATF - Thanks, Mog! :)

Author's Notes: Thanks to Phyllis for looking the story over for me. :)

Sequel to Apastapickle. Second in the series: Apastapickle, Bureau, Bathroom On The Right, Makin' Copies. You'll most likely need to read that story for this one to make sense.


Please let me know what you think. Thanks, Ruby :)




By: Ruby

Buck looked up from his desk when he heard a door slam. He watched Ezra Standish stalk into the office and over to his desk. Throwing himself down in his chair, the southerner proceeded to glare at JD Dunne's back.

Buck raised an eyebrow as he frowned at the undercover agent. "Hey, Ez, what's wrong?"

The other man glanced up at him and huffed loudly. He narrowed his eyes and then looked down at his desk.

Buck made a face and turned back to his own desk. Picking up the Nerf football, he lobbed it towards his roommate.

"Dang it, Buck! Stop doing that!" JD pulled the now dripping wet ball out of his coffee cup. "It could have hit my keyboard and stopped my download! I do *not* want to start this program downloading again. Have to leave my computer alone for a while." He shook his head. "Stupid, slow Government computers," he complained under his breath. He looked up at Buck and then back down as he wrote furiously on a notepad. "And I *got* to get this report done for Chris or he'll kill me."

"What'd ya do to Ezra, kid?" Buck asked as he leaned forward, his eyebrows raised, a wide grin covering his face.

"Nothin'." JD shrugged, glancing over at Vin and then back. "Why do you ask?"

"You can't feel that laser-beam glare boring a hole into your back?" Buck laughed.

"Humm." JD glanced over his shoulder at Ezra, giving him a goofy grin, and then looked back at Buck. He shrugged. "I hadn't noticed."

Ezra narrowed his eyes at the youngest agent's back. Buck could have sworn he heard a low growling sound coming from the southerner.

"Sounds like you pissed 'im off, boy." Buck cocked his head to the side. He watched as JD opened his top desk drawer, madly searching for something.

After a few moments, Dunne finally pushed the drawer shut with a loud thud. "Darn it! My dictionary's *never* around when I need it!" he grumbled.

"You used it to make paper airplanes, kid, remember?" Vin smirked.

"Oh, yeah." JD nodded. 

Ezra glared at Vin and then back at JD. "You used a *dictionary* to make paper airplanes?" he hissed.

"Sure, that good thick crisp paper makes the best planes." JD answered with a whimsical half-smile.

Ezra's voice rose. "You used a *hardback* dictionary to make paper airplanes?" his voice fairly squeaked.

"You all right, Ez?" Buck watched the southerner with concern. "Yer face is turning an odd shade of red."

Vin shook his head as he grinned behind his coffee cup.

JD sighed. "Guess I'll have to do it the old fashioned way." He wrote a word on his paper and then after a moment crossed it off.

"What'cha needin' to look up, kid?" Vin asked, sounding disinterested.

Buck glanced from Vin over to JD and then to Ezra, who had just taken a drink of his coffee.

"Oh," JD looked over at Vin and then back, crossing another word off his page, "I can never remember how to spell 'Bureau.' "

Ezra spewed liquid across the top of his desk. Vin jumped back trying to avoid getting any on him. Ezra had some distance going.

"Mr. Dunne!" Ezra's voice was forceful, sounding like a school instructor, and Buck expected him to start rapping knuckles at any moment. "We work for the *Bureau* of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms... and you do not know how to spell Bureau?" he asked incredulously, his voice rising in octaves.

"Well," JD squeaked, as he shrugged sheepishly, "not off the top of my head." He looked at Ezra innocently and then back down at his page, the tip of his tongue sticking out between his lips as he concentrated on the word.

Buck glanced over at Vin. Catching the sharpshooter's wry grin, he narrowed his eyes. Vin cocked his head towards Ezra. Buck looked at the undercover agent, his eyes going wide. Ezra was staring at the back of JD's head, his face beet red, his hands shaking. Buck's eyebrows rose high as he glanced at Vin and then back.

"Hmmm...B-e-r-u-o-r," JD spelled the letters out and then shook his head. "Nope, that doesn’t look right." He crossed it off. "B-e-u-r-e-u?" He stared at the word. "Nah." He crossed it off. "B-u-r-r-o?" He cocked his head at the word and then looked over at Vin for his advice.

Tanner grinned. "That's a lil' donkey, JD."

"Oh... yeah..." JD crossed it off. "I knew that," he chuckled.

Ezra's breathing was loud in the room as he glared at Dunne's back. Buck was actually starting to worry that the southerner was about to have a stroke.

JD tapped the tip of the pencil on his bottom lip as his brow furrowed in deep thought. After a moment, he started writing again. "B-r-e-a-u-r-o." He spelled the word as he wrote it.  He said the word twice before he crossed it off. "Sounds like some place in Mexico," he laughed as he shook his head.

"B-u-r-r-o-w? Nah, that's when you dig a hole." 

Ezra stood slowly, methodically. Buck watched in alarm as the undercover agent casually pulled his suit jacket back, showing his firearm.

"B-u-r-e-a-u." JD stared at the word for a minute. Suddenly he smiled brightly as he spelled the word again, "B-u-r-e-a-u." He looked all around the room, his eyes bright, then he looked back down at his paper. Spelling the word out loud one more time, he frowned and shook his head, grimacing. Roughly, he crossed the word off as he shook his head in chagrin. "That's a dresser," he scoffed, embarrassed.


"AGGGGGHHHHH!" Ezra's yell made the men in the room jump and stare at him open mouthed. The southerner glared at JD. "AAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!" he yelled again, the end of the yell turning into a choking sob. Turning, he walked out of the room slamming doors and knocking over trashcans on his way to the elevator.

Buck stared at JD as the younger man watched the undercover agent leave. A wry chuckle from off to his side caught him off guard and Buck glanced over to see Vin shaking his head at Dunne.

Tanner walked over to JD's desk, leaning over him and patting him on the back. 

"Again, kid, got to tell ya... didn't think you had it in you." He looked at JD with admiration. "Didn't think you could get 'im to fall for it again."

JD smirked happily as he picked up the phone. He shrugged in mock modesty as he dialed a number. "Hey, Inez? This is JD. Everything set for Ez's surprise birthday party Saturday night?"

Buck laughed when JD looked over at him and winked.


January 2003

Read the sequel: Bathroom On The Right


[email protected]  Please let me know what you think. I'd love to know. :)

Back to Ruby's Magnificent Seven Page