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Magnificent Seven Fanfiction ~ Parody Style

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Fanfiction World Monthly

by: Ruby

 

Disclaimer: The Magnificent Seven is owned by Trilogy, Mirish and MGM. No money is being made. This fanfic is purely for entertainment purposes. Mog created the ATF/AU, and I'll be forever grateful. :)

Warning:  PG-13 Couple of bad words 

Author's Notes: This is not meant to be serious at all. It's just for fun. I wrote it last year and I found it while I was unpacking. I added a few things and decided to go ahead and post it. Thanks to Phyllis for betaing it. I made some changes, so all mistakes are my very own to keep forever and ever. <g> It's very short! And it's along the same lines as my story The Top.

Feedback is always greatly appreciated. Please let me know what you think. Thank you, Ruby :)

 

Fanfiction World Monthly

by Ruby

"Meet The Characters"

A Fanfiction World Monthly Magazine Exclusive

 

Every month, we here at Fanfiction World Monthly Magazine interview one of our much-loved 'Fanfic' characters. This month, I had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Vin Tanner, a character from the short-lived CBS television series, The Magnificent Seven.

We started the interview with some chitchat. Mr. Tanner seemed very uptight, tense. After talking about his horse, clearing up some common misconceptions about the animal, he finally started to relax, leaning back in his chair, legs stretched out in front of him, ankles crossed, hands clasped loosely over his stomach. Very at-ease. His grin was engaging, his eyes as blue as I'd ever seen. There's a reason why the Mag7 folks love this man so much.

Now that Mr. Tanner was comfortable, it was time to get down to the serious discussion.

 __________________________________

 

FWMM: "There are some terms limited strictly to the fanfiction world, and some words that have entirely different meanings in the land of fanfiction than they do elsewhere. I'd love to get your definition of these terms."

Mr. Tanner: "Sure. Shoot."

FWMM: "Okay. Well, how about the term Hurt/Comfort?"

Tanner: Nods his head. "That happened to me just the other day. See, I was walking across the street and I stubbed my toe on one of the boardwalk steps. My pinkie toe! Whew! You know when you catch your little toe and it just bends sideways." He shudders. "Oh, I hate that." He shakes his head. "Anyway, that's what I'd done. Damn, that smarts. I was hoppin' around on one foot, holding the other one up, bending over, trying to get the toe in my mouth so I could suck on it. And I hear this chucklin' and look over to find ole Bucklin sittin' in the chair in front of the jail. And he says, 'You all right over there?' And I say, 'Screw you, ya bastard!' And he laughs some more and says, 'Gotta watch out for those steps. Hope it ain't yer shootin' toe.' And then he cackles like only Bucklin can. I finally stopped hoppin' and started walkin' over there. He jumped up and started runnin', and that was that."

FWMM: Stunned silence. Raised eyebrows. "That's your definition of H/C?"

Tanner: Grinning evilly. "Sure. I got hurt and it comforted me when I caught up to Wilmington and beat the holy living shi-"

FWMM: "Well, all right. On to the next term. This one is Slash."

Tanner: Furrows brow. "Ain't that the thing that them pageant ladies wear? You know, over their shoulders and across their-" He blushes, looking down. "Well, you know." He glances up. "It says somethin' like 'Miss Tascosa' or 'Miss West Texas Bounty Bunny.' Somethin' like that."

FWMM: "Um... okay, then. Here's another one. Smarm."

Tanner: "Sure. That's easy. It's what happens when a bunch of bees get together."

FWMM: Silence. Coughs twice. "Ah...alrighty then. Let's move on to an entirely different subject. How did you feel about the ATF/AU when it was first started?"

Tanner: Shifts in seat. "Well, of course, being from the Old West, I had my reservations about the whole thing. But, I read the script and it was so well written that I couldn't turn it down. My agent, who shall remain nameless," he winks and grins slyly, "but who has been known to walk around with nothin' on but a tablecloth, got me 10% of the action and after a few stories, negotiated for 15. Plus I got to keep all the materials I used. Clothes. Guns. Vehicles. Let's just say that I got some nice weapons. Clothes were pretty good. Got a nice Harley out of the deal. Only problem was the piece of shit Jeep I had to drive that kept gettin' wrecked. Now I got two pole barns full of crappy faded blue Jeeps with no tops. Most are totaled. Apparently in the ATF I'm extremely accident prone." He shakes his head. "Didn't really luck out there." He sighs. "Just once I'd like to get a Viper. Or... or... a Humvee. But, noooo, gotta be that shitty blue Jeep."

FWMM: "Yes, well... I had more questions but..." looks at watch. "Oh, ahem, too bad, our time's up for this month. Join us next month when we meet up with Midshipman Wellard and Archie Kennedy, both characters from the A&E show, Horatio Hornblower. They will be here talking about the ongoing fight they've been waging against the FCEDIF (Fanfiction Character's Early Demise Insurance Fund). So, until next month, thank you for joining Fanfiction World Monthly Magazine's 'Meet The Characters.' "

 

 

October 2002

 

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