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Every
month, we here at Fanfiction
World Monthly Magazine
interview one of our much-loved 'Fanfic' characters. This month, I
had the pleasure of interviewing Mr. Vin Tanner, a character from the
short-lived CBS television series, The Magnificent Seven.
We
started the interview with some chitchat. Mr. Tanner seemed very
uptight, tense. After talking about his horse, clearing up some
common misconceptions about the animal, he finally started to relax,
leaning back in his chair, legs stretched out in front of him, ankles
crossed, hands clasped loosely over his stomach. Very at-ease. His
grin was engaging, his eyes as blue as I'd ever seen. There's a
reason why the Mag7 folks love this man so much.
Now
that Mr. Tanner was comfortable, it was time to get down to the
serious discussion.
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FWMM:
"There are some terms limited strictly to the fanfiction world,
and some words that have entirely different meanings in the land of
fanfiction than they do elsewhere. I'd love to get your definition of
these terms."
Mr.
Tanner:
"Sure. Shoot."
FWMM:
"Okay. Well, how about the term Hurt/Comfort?"
Tanner:
Nods his head. "That happened to me just the other day. See, I
was walking across the street and I stubbed my toe on one of the
boardwalk steps. My pinkie toe! Whew! You know when you catch your
little toe and it just bends sideways." He shudders. "Oh, I hate
that." He shakes his head. "Anyway, that's what I'd done.
Damn, that smarts. I was hoppin' around on one foot, holding the
other one up, bending over, trying to get the toe in my mouth so I
could suck on it. And I hear this chucklin' and look over to find ole
Bucklin sittin' in the chair in front of the jail. And he says, 'You
all right over there?' And I say, 'Screw you, ya bastard!' And he
laughs some more and says, 'Gotta watch out for those steps. Hope it
ain't yer shootin' toe.' And then he cackles like only Bucklin can. I
finally stopped hoppin' and started walkin' over there. He jumped up
and started runnin', and that was that."
FWMM:
Stunned silence. Raised eyebrows. "That's your definition of H/C?"
Tanner:
Grinning evilly. "Sure. I got hurt and it comforted me when I
caught up to Wilmington and beat the holy living shi-"
FWMM:
"Well, all right. On to the next term. This one is Slash."
Tanner:
Furrows brow. "Ain't that the thing that them pageant ladies
wear? You know, over their shoulders and across their-" He
blushes, looking down. "Well, you know." He glances up.
"It says somethin' like 'Miss Tascosa' or 'Miss West Texas
Bounty Bunny.' Somethin' like that."
FWMM:
"Um... okay, then. Here's another one. Smarm."
Tanner:
"Sure. That's easy. It's what happens when a bunch of bees get together."
FWMM:
Silence. Coughs twice. "Ah...alrighty then. Let's move on to an
entirely different subject. How did you feel about the ATF/AU when it
was first started?"
Tanner:
Shifts in seat. "Well, of course, being from the Old West, I had
my reservations about the whole thing. But, I read the script and it
was so well written that I couldn't turn it down. My agent, who shall
remain nameless," he winks and grins slyly, "but who has
been known to walk around with nothin' on but a tablecloth, got me
10% of the action and after a few stories, negotiated for 15. Plus I
got to keep all the materials I used. Clothes. Guns. Vehicles. Let's
just say that I got some nice weapons. Clothes were pretty good. Got
a nice Harley out of the deal. Only problem was the piece of shit
Jeep I had to drive that kept gettin' wrecked. Now I got two pole
barns full of crappy faded blue Jeeps with no tops. Most are totaled.
Apparently in the ATF I'm extremely accident prone." He shakes
his head. "Didn't really luck out there." He sighs.
"Just once I'd like to get a Viper. Or... or... a Humvee. But,
noooo, gotta be that shitty blue Jeep."
FWMM:
"Yes, well... I had more questions but..." looks at watch.
"Oh, ahem, too bad, our time's up for this month. Join us next
month when we meet up with Midshipman Wellard and Archie Kennedy,
both characters from the A&E show, Horatio Hornblower. They will
be here talking about the ongoing fight they've been waging against
the FCEDIF (Fanfiction Character's Early Demise Insurance Fund). So,
until next month, thank you for joining Fanfiction
World Monthly Magazine's
'Meet The Characters.' " |
