Gonna Go Now

By: Ruby


Rating: PG-13 Bad language, Violence


Disclaimer: The Magnificent Seven is owned by Trilogy, Mirish and MGM. No money is being made. This fanfic is purely for entertainment purposes.

AU: ATF - Thanks, Mog! :)

Author's Notes: I know people either like Deathfics or they hate them. I've always liked them. Sometimes, when I need a good cry (and I can't find my Steel Magnolias tape <g>) I read all of my favorite sad stories. It always, for some reason, makes me feel better. Kind of a 'you don't know what you've got till it's gone' sort of thing. And writing them has always been cathartic for me. Like I said, I've read my favorite deathfics more than once (and I've written more than my fair share) so I'm hoping this isn't like 'All The Deathfics Ever Written.' <g>

This fic is a mixture of a few things really, a scene from CSI the other night that really bothered me, and the sad videos for two Country songs. I kind of put those things together and wrote this.

One last thing, it's not betaed, so please forgive my mistakes (grammar/medical/and police work. <g> Lord knows I have no idea what I'm talking about).


Please let me know what you think. Thanks, Ruby :)


Gonna Go Now ATF/AU

By: Ruby

Six of the seven ATF agents that made up Team Seven gathered around, grinning, faces flushed with post-bust adrenaline.

Buck clapped Nathan on the back, his smile wide and his face open. "Whoo wee! Did you see the looks on their faces when Chris yelled 'Freeze'? I thought they were going to mess themselves right there."

JD, standing shoulder to shoulder with Vin, smiled happily. Both men were dressed almost identical: black bulletproof vest over a white tee shirt, unbuttoned flannel shirt under a dark blue ATF windbreaker, and faded blue jeans – the only difference, the color of their flannel shirts.

"Went down without a hitch. For once, Travis won't have to write one of us up." Grinning, JD elbowed Vin and then yelped when the slightly older agent grabbed him in a headlock and gave him a hard Dutch rub. Finally breaking away from his friend's hold, he smiled at his teammates. "We did good."

"Sure did, Brother Dunne." Josiah grinned. "We do good work sometimes." He smirked at Ezra who gave him a huff in response.

"Now what's that all about?" Buck asked, his gaze darting from Standish to Sanchez and back.

"Oh, nothing..." Josiah smiled wryly. "Just a little inside joke, is all."

JD shifted uncomfortably. Reaching down, he pulled on the bottom of his bulletproof vest. Grabbing his white tee-shirt at the collar, he tried to pull it away from his neck."

"Got fleas, kid?" Buck laughed.

JD grimaced. "Vest's all twisted up." He moved his flannel shirt back out of the way and tried to pull his vest down again.

"Let it be, kid," Vin admonished. "You'll be out of it soon enough."

"Yeah, I know." JD twisted again and then just dropped his hands in defeat. "Hate that." He grinned. "Worse than a wedgie."

"You'd know." Buck chortled.

"Ha ha." JD rolled his eyes. 

"Here's Chris." Nathan nodded his head once, his dark eyes tracking the Team Leader's approach.

"Looks like we're all done. We can head out. PD and Team Four's handling the processing." Chris ran his assessing gaze over each member of his team.

"Teach them to make stupid bets with Standish." Buck shook his head, grinning over at the undercover agent.

JD smiled happily. "Hey, Chris, we were just-"

"GUN!" The yell was drowned out by the deafening gunshot.

Larabee and Sanchez spun and fired at the same time. Three other shots, all coming from Team Four, also rang out. The perp was dead before he hit the floor.

Silence hung heavy in the room.

"God damn," Buck breathed out, staring wide-eyed at the body on the floor. "How in the hell did he still have a gun?" he asked, his eyes roving from one uniformed officer and ATF agent to the next. He swallowed hard watching the men stare at the body and then at each other. "You boys not doing your job over there?" he called out.

"Thought you were supposed to check that one, Wilmington," an older PD officer called out, the light tone of his voice not relieving the strained tension in the room.

"If I'd checked him, he wouldn't have pulled that pea shooter and fired a fucking shot, Riley!" Buck returned, the color slowly coming back to his face.

Chris blew out a long breath, shaking his head at the body. "Christ almighty, people. What kind of shitbox outfit is this?" He looked around at the men.

"Oh, shove it out your ass, Larabee," Clint Logan, Team Four's leader, pushed Chris away from the body and back towards his team. "I think those pansies need to be gettin' back to their preschool." He smiled widely. "Why don't you leave the real police work for the rest of us."

Chris gave him a look. After a long, uncomfortable moment, he finally relented. Turning, he headed back to his team. "Let's get the hell out of here before someone pulls a grenade launcher out of their ass and starts..." His voice drifted off as he cocked his head to the side, his gaze fixed on JD. "Kid?"

Each man's head swiveled in Dunne's direction. 

JD stood, staring straight ahead, his mouth slightly open, his eyes wide, his expression a mixture of surprise and confusion.

The men stared at him.

Dunne's head dipped down until his chin was touching his chest. His eyes almost crossed as he stared at the small red hole in his white tee shirt, below his left collarbone and right above his vest. A small stream of blood slowly ran out of it and onto his vest. He cocked his head, his cheeks hollowing in and his mouth forming an 'oh.' He swallowed hard. Looking back up at his teammates, the corner of his mouth turned up into a shocked half smile. "Huh," he breathed out, astonished.

His friends stared, frozen with horrified shock. 

JD swallowed hard again and his eyebrows drew together. He locked eyes with Buck, his mouth a straight white line, all of the color leaving his face. His knees slowly buckled and he started slipping to the floor.

Vin grabbed him around the waist, easing his way to the ground. "Easy, kid," he hissed, his Texas drawl thick with worry. Buck was there in a second and he knelt on JD's other side.

Jackson dropped down next to them, pushing the sharpshooter out of the way. Pulling off his jacket, he wadded it up and placed it on the ground, gently lowering JD's head onto it. He reached up wildly and another jacket was immediately in his hand. This one he pushed onto the wound, his hands turning white with the pressure he exerted.

The rest of Team Seven, along with Team Four and the Denver PD officers, stood around the medic and the kid, forming a circle.

Vin slid over to sit next to Buck, and both men took over for Jackson, their hands on the jacket covering the wound.

Nathan nodded at them without tearing his eyes away from Dunne. 

No one made a noise; the only sound in the room, the ragged wheezing sound that JD made whenever he tried to pull a breath in.

Buck took a bloody hand away from the jacket. "Easy, kid," he soothed, running his hand over the young agent's forehead, leaving a crimson stain as he pushed the wet, sweat-slicked hair off his face. "Easy, you're going to be fine. Just fine." He tried to smile when JD looked up at him, his scared eyes huge in his pale face.

Suddenly, JD coughed loudly, blood splattering his mouth, drops landing on his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut in pain and Buck took in an unsteady breath and didn't let it out. His eyes wide, Wilmington looked up frantically at Nathan and was relieved when he saw two more medics drop down beside them. The spell of silence was broken with clipped and worried-sounding words.

"Son, can you hear me?"

"We need to get him out of here."

"BP's dropping."

"JD, kid, come on!"

Buck didn't hear the rest, something about the chest wound, lungs, bleeding inside... His surroundings faded out, and it was suddenly just he and the kid. JD's eyes opened, slowly focusing on Buck's face. "Kid?" Buck leaned down when JD's mouth opened.

"Bu-ck?" JD coughed again, reaching a hand up blindly.

Buck grabbed the hand. "I'm here, kid. You're gonna be okay. They're working on you. Nathan's here." His running commentary was interrupted when JD shook his head slightly.

"No, Buck. I... I..."  He swallowed convulsively, his eyes closing and opening, his focus gone, replaced by a dull glaze. "Sorry, Buck." He coughed again, his body spasming in pain, his eyes squeezed shut, his lips turning blue. Suddenly, he relaxed. The pain left his face and a wondrous look crossed over his eyes.

"JD?" Buck breathed out, his voice unsteady, frantic.

JD smiled, his dull eyes trying to focus on Buck. "It'll be alright, Buck." His mouth opened in awe as his gaze turned internal to something that only he could see. "I'm going to be fine." He shifted slightly, the hand that Buck wasn't holding, coming up to touch something that was visible only to him. JD nodded, his features relaxing fully, the hand that had been caressing the unseen object dropping to the floor with a thud.

"JD?!" Buck's voice cracked. A slight squeeze of his hand had him sucking in a breath and then letting it out in short gasps. "Jesus, JD don't-"

"Buck," JD turned clear, un-pained eyes towards him. "Thank you." He nodded once, a smile crossing his face and staying. "I'm gonna go now."

He took in a labored breath and let it out in a long ragged sigh. He didn’t pull another breath in. He just... stopped breathing.

Buck stared into the young ATF agent's eyes, watching the life leave them. His mouth opened, no sound coming out. He cleared his throat harshly, and then said, his voice a gravelly whisper, "JD." He swallowed hard. "Kid?" He could sense the frantic words and actions of the people around him, but they didn’t break through his barrier. "JD!?" He yelled.

Time stopped for Wilmington as he stared in silent horror at his best friend. Someone grabbed his arm, and it jerked Buck back to awareness. He looked up into Nathan's sad face, noticing for the first time that Jackson was sitting back on his heels, not working on JD anymore. Buck gasped, glancing down at his young friend and then back up, his expression asking the question that his voice couldn't.

Jackson slowly shook his head in miserable defeat. "He's gone, Buck," his voice croaked out. "He was... it was... too much. He-"

"No!" Buck yelled, interrupting him, his voice harsh, his face red. He started to lunge for the medic across JD’s body. Chris was beside him then, his arms around Buck's shoulders holding him while the tall ladies man screamed in anguish.


"I'm sorry, Buck," Chris spoke into his ear, his voice hollow sounding, the life gone. 

Buck didn't hear him over his own scream. 

The rest of Team Seven gathered around them, on the floor, each with a hand on JD's body, their shocked faces wet with tears.

Buck screamed. 

Nathan reached out a shaking hand and slowly pulled it down JD's face, closing the unseeing hazel eyes.

Buck fell forward, his scream turning into a loud, choking sob. Chris kept his hold on him; Vin now also had his arms around the tall man.

Buck didn't cry for long. Suddenly, he was deathly quiet, his eyes staring at the blue-tinged features of his best friend. The awed smile was still on JD's face and Buck gasped when he saw it.

Josiah was beside him then, his large hand squeezing Buck's neck. "He's in a better place, now."

Staring at Josiah, Buck took in two quivering breaths, and when it seemed like he was about to speak, he opened his mouth - and screamed – and didn't stop.


Suddenly, the light flipped on. "What the hell, Buck? You trying to wake the neighbors with your bellowing?" JD stood over him, his pale face concerned. "You okay?"

Buck gasped, his eyes widening. "JD?" he breathed out. 

"Ah... yeah." JD smirked as his eyebrow rose. "Who'd you expect? Anna Nicole Smith?" He laughed lightly, still watching his best friend with concern. "You okay now?" He asked, eyeing the messed up bedclothes and his friend's sweat soaked hair.

Buck slowly let a long breath out, his blue eyes staring at JD in awe. "JD, is that really you?"

JD figured out quickly that it hadn't been a run of the mill nightmare. He sat down next to his best friend on the bed. "It was just a dream, Buck. Whatever it was, it was just a dream. I'm here. I'm fine." He smiled when he saw that he was finally getting through to Buck.

The tall ladies man finally relaxed back into bed, all of his strength leaving him. "Jesus." He ran his hand down his face. "That was a doozy."

"Told you not to eat all that crap 'fore you went to bed." JD chuckled as he patted Buck once on the leg and then stood, starting for the closed door. He turned back before he reached it. "You okay now?"

Buck nodded at him, his smile suddenly blinding. His assessing gaze traveled up JD's body. Apparently content with what he saw, he sighed. "Oh, yeah, kid. Now I am."

"Good." JD smiled sadly as he looked down at the floor. After a moment, he sighed and then looked back up at Buck. "Good," he said again, nodding his head slightly, the sad smile still on his face. "I'm gonna go now."

Buck's mouth opened slightly, the color draining from his face.

JD turned and walked away, his body disappearing through the still-closed door. 

Buck stared at the door, his mouth agape, his face twisted into a mask of anguished horror. He took in two quivering breaths – and then screamed. And never stopped.


April 2003


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